I Bought $50 of Cologne out of a Car Trunk
I have trouble saying “no”
I find myself referring back to this event when any discussion of buying things on impulse occurs.
I remember being excited that I could finally drive, and basically just going to random places around town to look at stores of interest.
I was walking to my truck from a local spot called Soundworld, when someone approached me unexpectedly. He was a male, likely in his early twenties, and he asked if I had a minute to spare. Because I cannot turn people down in person, I agreed to hear him out.
I ended up buying $50 worth of knock off cologne from the trunk of his car. At one point, he offered both bottles for $25, but being the brilliant mind that I am, I tipped him $25 for his time, and still spent the full $50.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I used that knock off cologne as a sixteen year old teen with no prior cologne reference point. And, it did last awhile. But, it began my self awareness of how awkward it is to just say no.
Why is it so hard to decline?
I’ve discovered over the years that I can turn people down much easier in written form like a text or chat, than I can in person or on the phone. So, there is some safety at least from email marketers.
I even thought at one point I had overcome this inability to turn people down in person. I learned that my wife had a tendency to look shopping mall vendors in the eyes, and inevitably get pulled over for their pitch. She could say no confidently, so we only ever lost time. But having me nearby presented at least some risk of purchasing the Israeli skincare products.
I started making a deliberate attempt to avoid eye contact with mall vendors, which kept them from catching me, but she still occasionally got roped in.
Free massages and timeshare risk
To test my new found ability to ignore sales people in person, I thought it would be safe to take a free massage offer on a vacation package to Cancun. We only needed to listen to a brief pitch about the property.
You can see where this is going right? Confident that I’d survive the pitch, I went into the small office with Juliet by my side and listened to what they had to say. She immediately knew it was a no go, but I swear by time they were finished talking, I was ready for a timeshare. I clearly hadn’t learned my lesson yet.
We escaped without a time share and received our free massages, so in the end she rescued us successfully. But, it was a close call.
Sucker for a deal
I work in sales to some degree, so I understand why those types of sales roles exist. And, I do feel for them a bit, since working on commission has to be a hefty burden. Thankfully, my position is hourly, so I don’t have to give the “hard sell” to people.
I’m surprisingly good at needs-based sales that actually take into account what people need, versus the one-size-fits all pitch.
Will I ever learn?
What is wrong with just saying no? I’m a people pleaser so the thought that I might be hurting their feelings always comes to mind. Even though I know with almost full certainty they will have already forgotten about me after I’m out of sight.
This translates into overcommitment a bit as well. Because I have trouble saying no, and don’t want to let people down, I’ve committed to more things than I should at a time, and ultimately had to backtrack on some. Which, if we really think about it, is more awkward than having just turned them down gently in the first place.
I’ll keep testing out situations like this occasionally to see if I have any personal growth, but it’s always a risky endeavor.
I don’t have a life lesson here, other than don’t be afraid to say no. Especially if it’s the difference between $50 in your pocket, or knock-off Hugo Boss cologne.
Thanks for reading!
